Me Time

By: Sebastian Ivo C. Lim Gulayan

    “For Plato, the essence of living a wise life came down to the command to know yourself.”

    It has been almost a year since the worldwide lockdown was declared in March 2020 due to a coronavirus outbreak. That said, many of us have been at home with little to no interaction with the outside world. We lost the freedom to do things we normally did like going to the cinema, going to campus, and other errands we usually had as part of our routines, in a matter of days. Simply stepping out of the vicinity of our homes would require us to put on face masks and face shields which are indeed bothersome, but protect us and our families from covid-19. The transition from our totally normal lives into what seems like a never ending black hole of confinement and isolation just seemed so sudden. Personally, I was accustomed to waking up at five in the morning for school and then driving to Ateneo and spending practically all day there, then going home to do some homework and make preparations for my exams and assessments. All those responsibilities were gone into thin air when the government imposed a nationwide lockdown with curfews, regulations and all. I ended up bored and unproductive as I was stuck at home with no academic obligations. I had nothing to do apart from what people call “me time”.

    Into the first few days at home, I was filled with hope and optimism. I recall telling my siblings that this sudden shutdown of the economy was like a one or two break we could use to recharge and prepare us for when we go back to face-to-face schooling. I was carefree and happy-go-lucky, thinking that everything would go back to normal within a few days, or maybe a month tops. That version of myself was in for a rude awakening, and I guess I deserved it for being too naive. Days passed into weeks and weeks passed into months. Before I even knew it, my second year in college was going to be spent online. It was then that I began to feel a little scared and distressed. I had so many questions such as “Am I ever going to set foot on campus again?” And “When will I be able to go out without having to have a mask on?”. This was when I developed the habit of “me time”. I would isolate myself in my mind, on my bed, for around thirty minutes a day, usually past midnight, and I would reflect on my future and the future of the world I live in. I used to be able to sleep soundly at night, but the daily thirty minutes of self-questioning and interrogation pushed me into thinking of ways to further improve myself in order to instill change in those around me. The modifications I came up with are nothing close to being grand as were usually in the form of setting a good example for my siblings and younger cousins. I recall myself reminding them to wash their hands every so often. It was funny because I recall not caring about what my family did as long as it did not hassle me. I realized that thanks to this period of stillness and silence, I was slowly changing for the better.

    Another thing this pandemic has taught me is to have hope. My mother told me when I was a child that if it seems like everything is going wrong, hope is the only thing we can hold on to. “Once we run out of hope, we are left with nothing.”, she said. With that in mind, I grew more optimistic and more religious as I made it a point to offer prayers, asking God to grant my wish that a vaccine is created soon so that everything could go back to the way it was before. Take note that pre-covid, I was never one for religion, lest prayer. I like how former President Obama mentioned that hope could be used as something we could use to spring into action because I believe that my optimism was the jolt that got me to reprogram myself into becoming the more mature, responsible, compassionate, and god-fearing individual that I am at this moment.